The Proust Questionnaire
Tiffany introduced it to me, via Jason via Anna. (And Sam begat William and William begat..)
I like these types of exercises, especially when I'm foggy and panicked generally unclear (as this Monday morning finds me). The Proust questionnaire is named for the French writer Marcel Proust, serving as the inspiration for more introspective interviews, an exercise in self exploration and a peak into the true motivations of the people providing the answers.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Emotional health and physical health, the ability to cover my expenses without any great anxiety, knowing without hesitation that I am loved, supported and valued by the people I love, support and value...and the freedom to create things with my own two hands.
2. What is your greatest fear?
That the things currently causing me grief, will never pass. That this, right now, is all there is to life.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My fear of inadequacy.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cowardice.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
My aunt Elizabeth. She finds the growth in every challenge. She does amazing things but remains incredibly humble. She can hug you and reduce you to tears just from the love coming from her pores. She sees the best in you and never lets you deny that it is there. She finds joy and beauty in the things many take for granted. She's faced incredible adversity with the courage of a lion and never reduces herself to bitterness. She loves hard, thinks unselfishly, fights for what she believes in and...she's just a wonder.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Art supplies.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Afraid. Confused. Scattered. Isolated.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity. But only because of the other recognized virtues, it is the one least inclined to impede your ability to be a healthy, happy, productive individual. I know lots of people that ain't "chaste" but live life with fulfillment and purpose.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
When I'm afraid that the truth is going to really hurt someone with no positive consequence, self included.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My stomach.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
Well, there are a lot of people I don't like. The world is chock full of regrettable people. Though I find it more often to be a curse more than a blessing, I can sympathy or empathy for most. The living person I most despise right now might be Rush Limbaugh. He's dangerous and stirs unscrupulous passions for his own amusement. That sort of small minded deviance works on my ability to think kind thoughts.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Integrity. Not just one's ability to speak truthfully, but to do so at the cost of your own comfort and ease. Someone that is willing to be seen for who they are. To stand in their truth and not the shadow of what they want others to believe they are.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Grace. The ability to consider feelings and actions with wisdom and well being and to act gracefully even when it might be difficult to do so.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I can't.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My dog. I can always count on her to love me, tend to my wounded feelings and remind me that there's a being out here that will always give as much as or more than she takes. My childhood best friend, Jameel. Over thirty years and going strong. He's been the only one to always be there, to protect me on those occasions I couldn't protect myself and to keep all of my truest thoughts, fears and feelings safe and secure. He's probably the only person I've known that closely or long who has never snatched the rug out from under me.
16. When and where were you happiest?
The day I graduated from college and saw absolute blissful joy and delight on my father's face, knowing I had everything to do with it. A time long ago when I thought I was in love with someone just as in love with me. While everything else is in that story is but a work of fiction, that feeling I had was truer than most anything I've ever experienced. And I try to remain grateful for it.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to read minds.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My tendency toward self-preoccupation.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I think that's yet to be discovered.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
An eagle. (feathers, not helmets)
21. Where would you most like to live?
Sometimes I think New Mexico. Loads of pottery there, lots of ceramic inspiration, still away from the hustle and bustle of life in a city. Places I would spend a year or two? London. Toronto. New Zealand. Portugal.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
My laptop.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A life with no other passion but material gain or personal recognition.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
Potter. Followed by writer.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
I honestly don't know. I don't trust that I've ever had a clear lens for how others see/observe me.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Their sincerity.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Neil Gaiman, Octavia Butler, Pearl Cleage, Paulo Coehlo, C.S. Lewis, Anchee Min, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Maya Angelou
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Ellen Ripley from the Alien series.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I don't think I know enough about the inner workings of any historical figure to say who that person would be.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
The people who are driven each and every day to the commitment of human services, community service and charitable efforts.
Good morning! Getting ready to run 9 miles with Miss K. Blades is off at her mom's so she's not joining us today. I would rather be curled up in bed because (1) it's still dark out (2) it's freezing out there and (3) I'm still sleepy!
So, in order to wake up, I thought I'd listen to this ridiculous Narwhal Song. I don't even know what cartoon it's for..all I know is it's cracking me up.
Another plus for this morning..the House passes a health reform bill!!!
All right..off to torture my body! Happy Sunday Folks!
And before I begin let me qualify my thoughts as I am a Cancerian and emotionally-driven person who cries when she's happy, cries when she's said and many times feels first and thinks second.
Don't make sensitivity a weapon.
I'm all for explaining to people that you may potentially be thin-skinned and making requests to consider your heart before entering into a potentially combustible dialogue. At all times we should take into consideration how our thoughts and expressions of them may make others feel. A defensive maneuver will almost always beget a defensive maneuver. It's the fundamental rule to conflict. You hit me, it hurts. I hit back, you hurt and the dance escalates until two people are saying or doing regrettable things. Rather than using your sensitivity as a license to kill, use it as a means to find more productive ways to speak with love. Rather than letting your sensitivity give you an unrealistic sense of entitlement and petulant expectation, try and commit to the notion that it always takes two parties to create a disagreeable relationship conflict. You are hurt...in some ways big or small, they are likely hurting, too.
Don't make sensitivity a wall to constructive criticism.
There comes a time in every adult's life when you have to suck it up and face tough talk. Especially when the tough talk potentially saves you from a choice, an action or measure that could have long-term or especially painful consequences. While I am sensitive, I expect and almost demand that the people I love, give it to me straight, particularly when I screw something up. Because I am human. I am going to do that. And yes, you can give straight talk without pulling out the clubs and knives. So keep in mind that sometimes when people speak sternly to you, it is more important to identify the value in their statement...especially when you know behind the annoyance that statement is coming from a place of love. It's nice to hear only about the wonderful things we do; but it's better to hear about the ways we can grow and elevate to keep amazing ourselves and others. Never use your 'sensitivity' as a means to avoid owning your stuff.
And you know how I feel about owning your stuff.
Peter Rock's My Abandonment is the first book read in my Book Club by Proxy project. That's the one where I read other people's book club books for them. AmyH told me about this book. I probably wouldn't have bothered except the book was only 225 pages long and the blurb on the back sounded interesting.
My Abandonment is the story of a thirteen year-old girl named Caroline who lives in the woods outside of Portland with her father. Caroline and her father get by pretty well when you consider that they live in a hobbit hole. Their lives are shattered when a jogger stumbles upon their home and reports them to the authorities.
I must admit that this book took me by surprise. I read it as a joke and wasn't expecting much, but My Abandonment was an exciting, well-written story that was a pleasure to read. It was a damn good book. It's actually one of the highlights of my literary year. I would highly recommend this book to you, AmyH, or anyone else with a few hours to spare and an interest in quality reading.
What follows is the portion of the post dealing with cheating at book club. It starts out with my in-depth synopsis of My Abandonment's eight chapters and then ends with a couple talking points that should convince others that you've read the book. The thing to remember here is that what follows will absolutely ruin the book for you. Do not proceed if you have any interest in reading the book for yourself.
The Happy Days in the Forest Park (p. 1 - 48): Caroline and her father live in the woods outside of Portland. Caroline is thirteen; her father is a veteran who has bad dreams about helicopters. They've got an underground dwelling full of sleeping bags, a chess board, and Caroline's toy horse, Randy. They keep to themselves, but once a week they put on their city clothes and go into town. They go to the library, the Safeway, and stop by the post office for the father's government check. One day a jogger accidentally stumbles upon their camp while Caroline is lounging in a tree. The jogger tries to talk to Caroline, but she stays in her tree and hides. The jogger returns a few days later with the police, a canine unit, and a man named Jim Harris. Caroline's father is arrested and Mr. Harris takes Caroline.
Getting Caught and Put in the Building (p. 49 - 76): Mr. Harris drives Caroline into the city. During the drive, she makes reference to a foster family and a younger sister. Mr. Harris turns Caroline over to a woman named Jean Bauer at some sort of detention center. This woman cleans the girl up and gives her some new clothes. Then she subjects Caroline to a series of physical and psychological exams. She determines that Caroline is is good shape for a girl who has been living in the woods for years. Miss Bauer eventually returns Randy the Toy Horse and gives Caroline her own room...one that looks out on her forest.
Living on the Farm (p. 77 - 110): After a chapter apart, Caroline and her father are reunited outside the detention center. The police drive them out to a horse farm owned by a man named Mr. Walters. He's agreed to employ Caroline's father on his farm. In addition to the job, Mr. Walters is allowing Caroline and her father to stay in the bunkhouse on his property. Things are looking up. Caroline meets some neighbor boys and thinks they might turn out to be friends. She gets her first bicycle. She's excited about starting real school in the fall. Her father isn't doing as well, though. He starts to get paranoid and begins to imagine people spying on them from behind hay bales. He tells Caroline to pack her old backpack. As the chapter ends, the two sneak out to the bus stop in the middle of the night.
Living on the Streets of the City (p. 111 - 134): Caroline and her father head back to the woods, but that turns out to be a bad idea. They then decide to hide out in public...where they walk on opposite sides of the road and communicate with umbrella signals. Caroline gets a haircut and dye-job. She and her father set up camp in an abandoned hotel. Caroline's father starts doing "deliveries" for a mysterious man named Vincent. You can tell he's a villain because he has a pointy beard. Guys with pointy beards are always bad. Caroline gets recognized by Taffy, a girl she met at the detention center in Part Two.
Escaping Down Through the Snow (p. 135 - 160): Caroline's father is getting even more paranoid, and he decides they need to hop a train out of town. The only thing is that he's never done it before and he falls off the train as he tries to board. They opt for a bus. Caroline's father gets angry at her when she talks with a woman on the bus. He forces the bus driver to let them off in the middle of nowhere on a snowy night. They sleep outdoors and try to keep warm at a thermal spring. The next day they break into a cabin. Caroline recognizes all the books in one of the rooms. She used to have the same books when she lived with her foster family. They spend the night in the cabin and then use snowshoes and a sled to travel to the nearby town of Sisters, a town that Caroline's father seems to know.
Losing Father in the Cave (p. 161 - 192): Caroline and her father hike out of town, but are soon lost in a sudden snowstorm. They stumble upon a yurt and join a woman and very weird boy inside. The four of them spend the night in the yurt. In the morning Caroline and the very weird boy go out for a sled ride and the two adults stay inside to talk things over. The woman eventually comes out wearing a wig and Caroline's father's backpack. She gives Caroline's snowshoes to the very weird boy and the two of them head off. Caroline goes back into the yurt to find out what's going on. Her father is dead. It appears that he has been electrocuted or burned by the yurt's heating mechanism. Not knowing what to do, she puts her father's body on the sled and wanders around in the snow. She stumbles upon a keg party taking place in a cave. She hides her father's body and joins the party. She waits until the party breaks up and then brings her father's body into the cave. Sitting by the fire, Caroline thinks back and remembers when she first met her father. She remembers how he took her from her foster parents' backyard in Boise. She remembers how he handcuffed her in a hole while he joined the search party to look for her. She remembers how he changed her named to Caroline. She remembers how she used to see her picture on missing posters.
Boise (p. 193 - 210): Having left the man's body in the cave, Caroline heads for Boise. She walks around freely, knowing that nobody will recognize her now that's she's grown and looks different. She walks by her old house and then goes to her former elementary school where she sees her sister Della. She follows Della for awhile and then goes over to a cemetery. She can't find the headstones she's looking for. She takes the bus to the mall where a couple girls follow her into the bathroom and try to talk with her. They run for their mother when they notice that Caroline's foot is bleeding all over the place from frostbite. Caroline runs out the emergency exit.
There is Not Much to Say (p. 211 - 225): Time has gone by. Caroline has left Boise and returned to the town of Sisters. She gets her GED and studies at the community college. She becomes a part-time librarian. She also gets a job as caretaker at a rich man's house. He's rarely there and doesn't mind that Caroline lives in a yurt on his property. She compiles her thoughts and journals into eight sections and types them up at the library. She finds out that Randy the Toy Horse is actually a Chinese acupuncture model.
Something to Discuss in Your Book Club: Perhaps the book's most important sentence takes place on page 222 when Caroline writes about the book she's writing about her experiences with her father. She says, "I remember the conversations as best as I can. If I make up words he says at least they're close or taken from his notebook. I stitch it together and I only add what I have to. If I don't remember something I skip over it and leave it out." Is Caroline a reliable narrator? Do these sentences change your thoughts on what you've read in the earlier chapters? What do you think Caroline added to her book? What do you think she skipped over or left out?
Smart-Sounding Thing to Memorize and Regurgitate at Your Book Club: Did anyone else here find this book reminiscent of the work of independent film director, Kelly Reichardt? I certainly did. Rock's Portland-area setting combined with his protagonist's fascination with canines, brought to mind Reichardt's 2008 film, Wendy & Lucy. Should a film adaptation of My Abandonment be in the works, I think she should definitely be in the running to direct. I can already see Will Oldham in the role of "Nameless". I love the irony of a man with so many nicknames portraying a nameless character. Hah hah!
Did you join a book club because you thought it was the cool thing to do? Now that you've joined, do you have difficulty finding the time to read your club's book selection? Well, you can stop worrying about it. I've decided to offer my reading services to those of you who are either too tired, lazy, or busy to read your own book club books. Just let me know the title and author of your book and then sit back as I read the book for you. Once I've finished, I will provide you with a detailed synopsis and an in-depth analysis of the book. If you'd like, I'll even give you some insightful questions and talking points that you can use to impress and amaze your fellow book clubbers.
My first client is AmyH, who was worried about finding time to read Peter Rock's My Abandonment. This is going to be good for both of us. She'll be able to enjoy the social aspect of her book club without the additional time commitment of actually reading the book. What do I get in return? Well, I get a chance to redeem myself after my miserable showing in the Anna Karenina Book Club of 2002. I finished that book before the others and blurted out the ending. I ruined it for everyone, so now I feel I need to do something good for a different book club.
I picked up a copy of My Abandonment at the library a couple days ago. I'm about halfway through it.
